The Lacross team liked to invite this lovely lass for the school prom
For the invite they have used their bared bottom instead of a C.D.Rom.
“ANN ARBOR, Mich.—Thirteen members of a high school lacrosse team have been disciplined for baring their bottoms on which was written a prom invitation from one player to a girl.”
The lawyer suggested to the judge just a simple jack off procedure
His defense was strong but it was the Jack which landed him in Jail.
“AUSTIN, Texas (AP) - A flick of the wrist has landed an Austin lawyer in jail for contempt of court. A judge sentenced defense attorney Adam Reposa to 90 days in jail on Tuesday for making a lewd gesture and simulating masturbation while standing before a County Court-at-Law judge in March.”
This farmer from Germany had picked up his pretty bride on the net
On his first night she was actually a whiskered man in her pants.
“A German farmer who married a woman he met on the internet has asked for the marriage to be annulled after finding out ’she’ was a he.”
In Tampa they booked a man for whacking a horse in its arse
It is no surprise the whacking happened in Ybor at unearthly hours
You have to believe the story as it came straight from the horse’s arse.
TAMPA - Police arrested a Lakeland man early this morning on charges that he punched a police horse in the rear end.
It should be no surprise the incident occurred about 3:15 a.m. in Ybor City.
The Tampa Police Department report said the officer and horse were clearing the street and sidewalks in the 19th Street area of Seventh Avenue.Carl Coward, 24, of 111 Hodges Road, Lakeland, balled his fist and punched the horse in the right rear hip area, the report states.Coward was charged with battery of a law enforcement animal and is being held at the Orient Road Jail on $500 bond, jail records show.The report does not indicate whether the horse suffered any serious injury.”
http://www2.tbo.com/content/2008/apr/06/man-jailed-after-punching-police
There was a young man from Lynn whose tool was the size of a pin
In view of this size , ogling naked babes should not be a big sin
But when the tax bill came he really needed a big tonic and gin.
“COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — It could cost more to see naked babes in South Carolina. At least that’s what one state senator wants in the Palmetto State.
Greenville Republican Mike Fair wants to impose 20 percent sin tax on magazines like Playboy and Hustler. “
http://www.ksdk.com/news/watercooler/hot_topics_article.aspx?storyid=143376
He felt sad and forlorn,watching all alone the porn
He actually liked all of you to feel equally love-lorn
And screened the stuff for all ye,high-born and low-born
“A TECHNICIAN at a French Polynesian television station has been suspended from work after accidentally screening a porn movie he thought he was watching alone”
All through the night we make passionate love under the stars,me and you
Our torrid love affair goes on ,duly protected by the mountain dew,
In the friendly company of the mountain goat and the sheep and the ewe.
ORLANDO, Fla. — A recent survey that found some Florida teens believe drinking a cap of bleach will prevent HIV and a shot of Mountain Dew will stop pregnancy has prompted lawmakers to push for an overhaul of sex education in the state.”
It is true poo is serious stuff not merely belonging to the loo
Poo smells a lot but tells a lot too, useful like the didgeridoo
View it like a regular for a scatological analysis in the privacy of your loo
These scholarly pursuits will stimulate the intellectual in you.
Get grossed out, laugh or act like you’re too refined to discuss this. Go ahead. The truth is, poop is serious stuff. If you’re willing to peek into the toilet bowl once in a while, local doctors say you can learn loads about your health and detect problems ranging from poor diet to colon cancer. “It’s one of a few things you can do without a doctor’s help. You can’t do blood work on yourself … but you can look in the toilet,” said Dr. Anish Sheth, a gastroenterologist and co-author of the book, “What’s Your Poo Telling You?” and the soon-to-be-released sequel, “Poo Log”.
http://nutritionalconcepts.blogspot.com/2008/02/worried-about-your-health-try-waste.html
In the donut shop you forget to wear your pants
You have a problem on hand with the blasted ants.
“Yorktown: Careful with that coffee! Police say a man placing an order in a suburban New York doughnut shop’s drive-through lane didn’t have any pants on.They say a Dunkin’ Donuts worker saw John Greco’s exposed genitals in the February 27 stunt and then noted the make of his car and his license plate number.
Police say the 46-year-old Croton-on-Hudson resident was arrested last week and has been charged with misdemeanour public lewdness. He’s due in court March 27.Police released a statement on Thursday saying it was “unknown how Mr. Greco took his coffee that day.”
Without booze and fag we cannot think of a bar
If we cannot have our bar without nicotine and tar
we shall deem our bar as Shakespearean theater.
All the world is a stage and men players says the bard.
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more.
It is a tale told by an idiot full of smoke and fury
Our lungs are black like Macbeth’s dark deeds
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death.
“Bars in Minnesota are declaring themselves theatres to get around a public smoking ban.
The state ban allows actors to light up in character during theatrical productions.
So the bars are declaring themselves theatres and their customers performers, reports the Daily Telegraph.“
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2761092.html?menu=news.quirkies
Fun news ,zany news,eccentric news in verse,rhymed and unrhymed.
