The Brits are not all that romantic
And to the fairer sex,often phlegmatic
They rather prefer hot water bottles
Often found useful for pains rheumatic.

A new study by the psychologist Professor Richard Wiseman claims that British men are less likely to make romantic gestures than men from other parts of the world — in fact, they are less likely to pay compliments, be inspired to write love poetry or take their loved ones away for surprise holidays than their foreign counterparts.

For a year he has not spoken a single lie
But when it comes to the wife’s bum
He could neither speak the “big” lie
Nor keep mum: one does not know why.

A Swansea man is about to complete a year without telling a lie – but admits he came unstuck when his wife asked: “Does my bum look big in this?”
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3185840.html?menu=news.quirkies

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The man chose as password “Lloyds is pants”
But Lloyds is not the one who wore the pants.

A man who chose “Lloyds is pants” as his telephone banking password said he found it had been changed by a member of staff to “no it’s not

Nuns need not be old and sad looking
They can be beauty queens as well
Walking the ramp instead of the aisle.

A Catholic priest is staging the first ever beauty contest – for nuns.

Naturist Nick Male will do your painting in the buff
Besides painting some really exciting naked stuff .

A Lincolnshire naturist by name “Nick Male” has launched Britain’s first naked painting and decorating service

This man is a stripper by night, when in a sprightly mood
Other times he cheers himself up by setting a few cars on fire.

A male stripper is being investigated as a suspected spy after setting fire to a car “to cheer himself up”.

The surgeon has unjustly severed
His penis which is worth a fortune
A penis is not a mere appendage
But is a whole state of mind,you know.

A court has ordered a surgeon to pay $795,000 in
compensation to a patient whose penis he accidentally severed during an
operation.
“You don’t have to be an expert to realize that the 33-year-old victim does
not have a good state of mind,” said the victim’s lawyer.”

This honored guest has talked for 30 hours without break
Her friend is sick with chronic “guestritis”,what the heck.

“A desperate German woman finally called emergency services to rescue her after a friend visited her and talked for 30 hours straight, authorities said Tuesday.”

It was not such a wrong thing to steal a thong
But snitching tearaway pants is entirely wrong.

“AUSTRALIAN male strip review The Thunder From Down Under has had to cancel parts of its US tour because they’ve got nothing to wear after their van was stolen.

The strippers were in Annapolis, Maryland, on Friday night when the van went missing.

The van contained thousands of dollars of equipment, costumes and merchandise and the strippers have promised a US$5000 ($5230) reward to whoever can help them get it back.

“They were shocked,” said Bradford Singh, a manager at the Ram’s Head Tavern where the troupe had been performing, told the Annapolis Capital.

“Maybe it was one of the ladies who just wanted a thong.”

Annapolis Police Department officer Hal Dalton spoke with a representative of the group about the missing items, the Annapolis Capital reported.

“It was kind of humorous. She said there were costumes, equipment and the merchandise they sell on tour. But she wondered what anyone would want with tear-away pants,” he said.”

The kids have good education in these modern times
They learn all about boob jobs along with nursery rhymes.

“A plastic surgeon has written a controversial children’s book explaining nose jobs, tummy tucks and breast implants.”
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2874024.html