When the mood is not right he cheers himself up by setting cars on fire

This man is a stripper by night, when in a sprightly mood
Other times he cheers himself up by setting a few cars on fire.

A male stripper is being investigated as a suspected spy after setting fire to a car “to cheer himself up”.

A penis is not a mere appenage but is a whole state of mind

The surgeon has unjustly severed
His penis which is worth a fortune
A penis is not a mere appendage
But is a whole state of mind,you know.

A court has ordered a surgeon to pay $795,000 in
compensation to a patient whose penis he accidentally severed during an
operation.
“You don’t have to be an expert to realize that the 33-year-old victim does
not have a good state of mind,” said the victim’s lawyer.”

A chronic case of “guestritis”

This honored guest has talked for 30 hours without break
Her friend is sick with chronic “guestritis”,what the heck.

“A desperate German woman finally called emergency services to rescue her after a friend visited her and talked for 30 hours straight, authorities said Tuesday.”

Stealing a thong was not such a wrong thing but stealing a tearaway pants is rather too much

It was not such a wrong thing to steal a thong
But snitching tearaway pants is entirely wrong.

“AUSTRALIAN male strip review The Thunder From Down Under has had to cancel parts of its US tour because they’ve got nothing to wear after their van was stolen.

The strippers were in Annapolis, Maryland, on Friday night when the van went missing.

The van contained thousands of dollars of equipment, costumes and merchandise and the strippers have promised a US$5000 ($5230) reward to whoever can help them get it back.

“They were shocked,” said Bradford Singh, a manager at the Ram’s Head Tavern where the troupe had been performing, told the Annapolis Capital.

“Maybe it was one of the ladies who just wanted a thong.”

Annapolis Police Department officer Hal Dalton spoke with a representative of the group about the missing items, the Annapolis Capital reported.

“It was kind of humorous. She said there were costumes, equipment and the merchandise they sell on tour. But she wondered what anyone would want with tear-away pants,” he said.”

The kids have a good education now

The kids have good education in these modern times
They learn all about boob jobs along with nursery rhymes.

“A plastic surgeon has written a controversial children’s book explaining nose jobs, tummy tucks and breast implants.”
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2874024.html

An Aussie man went for his peaceful roadside leak

An Aussie man went for a peaceful roadside leak
Lurking,alas, was a snake waiting to bite his dick.

A man had a shock in Australia when a deadly snake bit his penis during a roadside toilet break.”
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2873859.html?menu=news.

There was nothing else available within reach

An angry mom hit her lazy son with a meat cleaver
There was nothing else available within easy reach.

OCALA - Brenda Hecht said she’s tired of her son’s behavior. She said her 18-year-old son, Chamborg Hecht, hasn’t worked for four months and sleeps all day. And when she goes to work at night, she said he plays video games until she returns home.

The brainy chicks are not much fun in the bed,rain or heat

For the sexy babes the brain takes the back seat
The brainy ones are not fun in the bed ,rain or heat
Finally we sacrifice gray matter and settle for the meat.

“BRAINY babes find it harder to have an orgasm – because they are too busy thinking, a study claims.

The German survey found that the more educated a woman was, the less likely it was that she would be satisfied by sex.”

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1090275.ece

Beer thou art and unto beer shalt thou return

Beer lover Bill Bramanti loves Pabst Blue Ribbon permanently
Beer thou art and unto beer shalt thou return,saith he biblically
He made a custom made beer can casket for his final journey.

“SOUTH CHICAGO HEIGHTS, Ill. (AP) - Bill Bramanti will love Pabst Blue Ribbon eternally, and he’s got the custom-made beer-can casket to prove it.”

Vinny the mobster is verily the pulchritudinous friendster

Vinny mobster is very gorgeous, but inside the prison Vinny who ?
These days Vinny the poo practices his sharp-shooting in prison loo
Vinny is now a great scholar ,both pulchritudinous and platitudinous
He tells his son do’s and don’t s and has hobbies truly multitudinous.

NEW YORK (AP) - He’s known as Vinny Gorgeous, but convicted mob boss Vincent Basciano might want to trade up to Vinny Photogenic or Vinny Pulchritudinous.