Jack landed him in Jail

The lawyer suggested to the judge just a simple jack off procedure
His defense was strong but it was the Jack which landed him in Jail.

“AUSTIN, Texas (AP) - A flick of the wrist has landed an Austin lawyer in jail for contempt of court. A judge sentenced defense attorney Adam Reposa to 90 days in jail on Tuesday for making a lewd gesture and simulating masturbation while standing before a County Court-at-Law judge in March.”

Judge sentences lawyer to 90 days for lewd gesture

The brides you meet on the internet are actually grooms

This farmer from Germany had picked up his pretty bride on the net
On his first night she was actually a whiskered man in her pants.

“A German farmer who married a woman he met on the internet has asked for the marriage to be annulled after finding out ’she’ was a he.”

Ananova - Lonely farmer’s wedding night letdown

You have to believe the story as it came straight from the horse’s arse

In Tampa they booked a man for whacking a horse in its arse
It is no surprise the whacking happened in Ybor at unearthly hours
You have to believe the story as it came straight from the horse’s arse.

TAMPA - Police arrested a Lakeland man early this morning on charges that he punched a police horse in the rear end.
It should be no surprise the incident occurred about 3:15 a.m. in Ybor City.
The Tampa Police Department report said the officer and horse were clearing the street and sidewalks in the 19th Street area of Seventh Avenue.Carl Coward, 24, of 111 Hodges Road, Lakeland, balled his fist and punched the horse in the right rear hip area, the report states.Coward was charged with battery of a law enforcement animal and is being held at the Orient Road Jail on $500 bond, jail records show.The report does not indicate whether the horse suffered any serious injury.”

http://www2.tbo.com/content/2008/apr/06/man-jailed-after-punching-police

When the tax bill came ,he really needed a big tonic and gin

There was a young man from Lynn whose tool was the size of a pin
In view of this size , ogling naked babes should not be a big sin
But when the tax bill came he really needed a big tonic and gin.

“COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — It could cost more to see naked babes in South Carolina. At least that’s what one state senator wants in the Palmetto State.

Greenville Republican Mike Fair wants to impose 20 percent sin tax on magazines like Playboy and Hustler. “

http://www.ksdk.com/news/watercooler/hot_topics_article.aspx?storyid=143376

He felt sad and forlorn, watching all alone the porn

He felt sad and forlorn,watching all alone the porn
He actually liked all of you to feel equally love-lorn
And screened the stuff for all ye,high-born and low-born

“A TECHNICIAN at a French Polynesian television station has been suspended from work after accidentally screening a porn movie he thought he was watching alone”

Florida teens believe that mountain dew prevents pregnancy

All through the night we make passionate love under the stars,me and you
Our torrid love affair goes on ,duly protected by the mountain dew,
In the friendly company of the mountain goat and the sheep and the ewe.

ORLANDO, Fla. — A recent survey that found some Florida teens believe drinking a cap of bleach will prevent HIV and a shot of Mountain Dew will stop pregnancy has prompted lawmakers to push for an overhaul of sex education in the state.”