Poo analysis is a scholarly pursuit which will stimulate the intellectual in you

It is true poo is serious stuff not merely belonging to the loo
Poo smells a lot but tells a lot too, useful like the didgeridoo
View it like a regular for a scatological analysis in the privacy of your loo
These scholarly pursuits will stimulate the intellectual in you.

Get grossed out, laugh or act like you’re too refined to discuss this. Go ahead. The truth is, poop is serious stuff. If you’re willing to peek into the toilet bowl once in a while, local doctors say you can learn loads about your health and detect problems ranging from poor diet to colon cancer. “It’s one of a few things you can do without a doctor’s help. You can’t do blood work on yourself … but you can look in the toilet,” said Dr. Anish Sheth, a gastroenterologist and co-author of the book, “What’s Your Poo Telling You?” and the soon-to-be-released sequel, “Poo Log”.

http://nutritionalconcepts.blogspot.com/2008/02/worried-about-your-health-try-waste.html

It is unknown how Mr.Greco took his coffee that day

In the donut shop you forget to wear your pants
You have a problem on hand with the blasted ants.

“Yorktown: Careful with that coffee! Police say a man placing an order in a suburban New York doughnut shop’s drive-through lane didn’t have any pants on.They say a Dunkin’ Donuts worker saw John Greco’s exposed genitals in the February 27 stunt and then noted the make of his car and his license plate number.

Police say the 46-year-old Croton-on-Hudson resident was arrested last week and has been charged with misdemeanour public lewdness. He’s due in court March 27.Police released a statement on Thursday saying it was “unknown how Mr. Greco took his coffee that day.”

All the world is a stage and all men and women merely players

Without booze and fag we cannot think of a bar
If we cannot have our bar without nicotine and tar
we shall deem our bar as Shakespearean theater.
All the world is a stage and men players says the bard.

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more.

It is a tale told by an idiot full of smoke and fury
Our lungs are black like Macbeth’s dark deeds

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death.

“Bars in Minnesota are declaring themselves theatres to get around a public smoking ban.
The state ban allows actors to light up in character during theatrical productions.
So the bars are declaring themselves theatres and their customers performers, reports the Daily Telegraph.“
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2761092.html?menu=news.quirkies

Our town is named Athol butt we are not that

Our town is named Athol butt we are not that
We are surely not what we think below your hat
We are sick of being the butt of everyone’s jokes
We put our butt to better use ,we promise, blokes.

Athol, Mass., residents are sick and tired of people making fun of the town’s name.
Town selectmen wrote a letter of protest to Comcast SportsNet for putting an advertisement in area newspapers that read … “We can pronounce Worcester … without sounding like an Athol.”
Comcast quickly pulled the ad which appeared in the Boston Herald and other papers to promote Comcast’s regular sports analysis and interview programs.”
http://www.topix.net/news/weird/2008/03/athol-residents-tired-of-being-butt-of-jokes

You get banned from tennis if you grunt loudly in play

You get banned from tennis if you grunt loudly in play
For such noises distract the other players all day
Less distracting sounds like passing the wind seem okay.

Maria Sharapova has been criticized over her extremely loud grunting during play, but you can bet they won’t try this with a champion like her. A 9-year-old Australian girl has been banned from playing tennis at her local club over the grunting noises she makes during play.
Lauryn Edwards was told last weekend that she could no longer play after an opposing player complained about her grunting”
http://snafu-ed.blogspot.com/2008/02/9-year-old-sharapova-wanna-be-banned.html

It is the plumbing problems that plague their performance

The Kiwis concerns are neither less libido nor lack of chance
It is the plumbing problems that plague their performance.

“Lack of sexual desire and infrequent intercourse are among the most common sexual problems experienced by New Zealanders, according to a new academic study.”

http://news.sbs.com.au/worldnewsaustralia/kiwis_seek_therapy_for_low_sexual_desire_541798

It is a foul and a dastardly act to leak before the Police Department

The cops are polite guys with a friendly public face
It is a dastardly act and is surely a cognizable case
If a guy chooses to leak right in front of their place.

“An apparently drunk man picked the wrong place to tinkle. Appleton, Wis. police arrested the man Friday afternoon after he reportedly relieved himself in front of the police department.”
http://wcbstv.com/watercooler/drunk.urination.police.2.662680.html

In our country we vacuum our underpants off and on

A vacuum cleaner is the most gorgeous thing in town
Its going is good and smooth ,under and down
In our country we vacuum our underpants off and on
It is a normal practice as you would have known.

A Polish worker had been caught in the act with a vacuum cleaner and when asked what he was doing with the machine ,he claimed that he was vacuuming his underpants, which was a normal practice in Poland.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/03/nhoover103.xml