The humbled lion now stands on the herald without its manhood

Women will have none of this male stuff on the herald
So there is now no penis in the lion’s loins, O my God
The humbled lion now stands without penis on the herald.

“Protests from female soldiers have led to the Swedish military removing the penis of a heraldic lion depicted on the Nordic Battlegroup’s coat of arms.
The armed forces agreed to emasculate the lion after a group of women from the rapid reaction force lodged a complaint to the European Court of Justice, Göteborgs-Posten reports.”

A she-goat is not acceptable looking to the gravity of the offence

The first lady Kibaki has whacked him allegedly
Nothing less than a he-goat and an apology
Is what the victim demands from the first family
A she-goat is not acceptable looking to the gravity.

“Amidst the political unrest that has ravaged Kenya, elders are demanding a goat from the President as compensation for an alleged assault by his wife.”

Gorski from Gliwice twice made guttural noises over the gherkin

Gorski from Gliwice spluttered over an ill-gotten gherkin
“I could not resist having a snack ,” the jerk said jerkin’ .

A burglar in Poland who stole a dozen jars of home-made pickles was caught after choking on his ill-gotten gherkins.
Piotr Gorski was found spluttering and blue in the face just two streets away from the crime scene.
Police had to hit him on the back to dislodge the vegetable before arresting him
Gorski, from Gliwice, said: ‘I just couldn’t resist having a quick snack.’

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=99014&in_page_id=2

A fling or two in office is a good thing

A fling or two in office is a good thing with rising productivity
It improves quality of output but sadly reduces overall quantity.

“HAVING an office romance IMPROVES your quality of work, a survey claims.
Researchers found the thrill of a fling “raised energy levels and led to better professional capacity”.
One in five people quizzed by Italian sexologist Serenella Salomoni admitted to an affair at work.
She said: “We discovered that people who had an office romance said they were happier, more energetic and more productive.”

You can now soar in the nude like an eagle

You can now fly in the nude in special nude flights
Like an eagle that soars up and up in dizzy heights
You can now feel the brisk breeze on your bare bum
The flights are pricier but you’ll thoroughly enjoy ‘em.

“German nudists will be delighted to know that they can now be nude at a higher altitude than ever before, as an airline launches special nude flights.

The flights of nakedness are a nostalgic throwback to the days of Communism in East Germany, when naturism was permitted and found widespread popularity. The company, OssiUrlaub.de, is specifically targeting former East Germans pining for their old, clothing-optional ways

But at around £372 (€499) for a trip between Erfurt in the south-east and Usedom in the Baltic Sea, the naked soaring will not be for everyone.
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=87854&in_page_id=2

Double fun on double time ,even if one were a Woodcock

The Aberdeen council staff work very hard managing their leisure
They are required to have double fun on double time in good measure
You will agree how tough it is for Woodcock to achieve any pleasure.

“Senior Aberdeen council staff were on double time while having sex in the workplace, it has been alleged.
Former council manager Tom McNeil, 52, is claiming at a tribunal hearing he lost his job after revealing two colleagues were involved sexually.Witness Pat Fraser said she could hear then director of leisure, Brian Woodcock, and a female employee having sex behind a partition screen”
BBC

He is a police department official with extraordinary interest in matters religious

Findler Tom is not a peepling Tom
He findles all the thrills flesh is heir to
On the holy computers of church episcopal.

“HAMILTON, N.J. (AP) - A civilian State Police employee was accused of sneaking into a church to look at pornography on a nun’s computer. Police arrested Thomas G. Findler Wednesday and charged him with burglary and theft.

Authorities said Findler had been sneaking into Grace St. Paul Episcopal Church in the night over the last three weeks to look at pornography.”
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8UHAES00&show_article=1&catnum=9