He was bald and she was bold

The groom was hairless and hid his mug under a wig
A bald pate was a nasty bug , not suited to a warm hug
When found bald , she gave him a whack, bold and big.

“A man was beaten by his fiance and in-laws in India after they found out he was bald and wearing a wig.Prabir Das, of Dispur in Assam, was also relieved of his belongings, reports the Daily Telegraph.He told police his fiance yanked off his hairpiece after dinner and began beating and abusing him for hiding his pate.”

Women can now shop till their husbands drop

We can play hopscotch in a creche while our wives shop
Here we can read the papers,skip and jump and hop
And carry on nicely while they shop and finally we drop.

“A Spanish shopping centre has set up a creche for husbands.The mall, in L’Hospitalet de Llobregat near Barcelona, wanted to provide a place for husbands to relax while their wives shop.”

That makes his “blue job” that much sweeter

A sweets shop owner made chocolates of a porn star’s willy
That made his “blue job” so much sweeter ,albeit darn silly.

“An Italian sweet shop owner has been fined after making chocolate copies of a local porn star’s proudest asset.
Bologna police told Teresa Conti, 40, to melt down the chocolate version of blue movie actor Rocco Siffredi’s penis.”

It was not clear why he had to be naked to steal the truck

It was not clear why Mr.Boylan was naked
Nor why the truck was at all hijacked
We are utterly dense as to why the heck
He had to be naked to steal the truck.

A naked man jumped into a stranger’s pickup truck and drove off before it crashed in a field….The Putnam County Sheriff’s Office said it was unclear why Boylan was naked or why the man stole Johnson’s truck.

Canine haute couture

We have now a Mungo and Maud perfume
For your favorite canines making them pine
As part of the doggy haute couture
A couple of designer dresses will be fine.

“A London firm has launched what it claims is the world’s first perfume made especially for dogs.Mungo & Maud are selling their Petite Amande eau de toilette for £38, reports the Daily Telegraph.”

He was not a wicked man,only a naked man

He was not a wicked man,only a naked gentleman at close quarters
Though properly razored he was unduly tasered in the hind quarters.

A man who stripped off at a university concert was tasered ‘in the ass’ by police as they tried to handcuff him.
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=75324&in_page_id=2

Flashing is no doubt art but for His Lordships it is rather difficult to bear

The court no doubt agrees it is a great art to bare
But flashing in the court is rather too much to bear.

“A German man, who was in court to appeal against his conviction for flashing, possibly didn’t help his case when he stripped off in the middle of the court.

‘The court withdrew for deliberations and during the adjournment the man removed his clothes again,’ said a spokesman for the court, in the western city of Duisburg.

‘It appears he sees it as art, and views himself as a living work of art.’”

By the way,were you searching for a screw-driver ?

Excuse me,sir, down there you forgot to wear your pants
We like to caution that in these parts crawl many red ants
By the way,are you searching for a screw-driver in those parts ?

“A naked man arrested for indecent exposure in California was held at gunpoint – on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. He had a screwdriver hidden in his anus.”

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=23771&in_page_id=2

Do not at all philander ,says the goose to the gander

Do not at all philander ,says the goose to the gander
Any foreign affairs we no doubt severely condemn
We still love you and just in case,here is the condom.

“KATMANDU, Nepal (AP) - Women in a Nepal mountain village have been mailing condoms to their husbands working overseas to protect them from sexually transmitted diseases, a news report said Tuesday.

The women of Pang village have been writing their husbands letters urging them not to have sex with others—but they have been enclosing condoms just in case, the Kantipur newspaper reported.

“http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8SOE8G81&show_article=1&catnum=9

Spider bites make you sufficiently randy

The Taj in moonlight and a handy viagra may be fine in Agra
But now in Sydney spider bites make you sufficiently randy
On moonlit lights just keep a packet of pretty spiders handy.

Sydney: An Australian man who kidnapped and raped a woman blamed his actions on a spider, local media reported on Thursday.

Philip Spiers pleaded guilty to the kidnap and rape, but told a court that the poison from a funnel-web spider bite had left him with a viral illness which led to his actions.