The commies have no time for thingummies

The next month they will meet ,these commies,
Under the watchful eyes of their mummies
Sexy push-up bras adverts for mammies
Are banned as also similar other thingummies..

“BEIJING (Reuters) - Days after banning “sexually provocative sounds” on television, China has now stopped networks showing “saucy” adverts for push-up bras and figure-hugging underwear ahead of a major Communist Party meeting next month.”

It was a mere peck, a Gere Peck like in a flick

It was just a Gere peck,a mere peck on the cheek
Like it always happened in a Bollywood flick
The chick’s morals were not weak,what the heck.

“Big Brother star Shilpa Shetty is still feeling the effects of a kiss from Hollywood star Richard Gere five months ago. The actress was held by immigration officials at Mumbai Airport, who said she was still wanted for obscenity charges brought after strict Hindus complained about the kiss.”

When Wang and King banged balls in Bangcock

When Wang and King banged balls in Bangkok
The ball-by-ball commentary ran really amok.

“Tennis pundits were reportedly red-faced when they had to comment on a match between two players called Wang and King.”

Nothing gives more job satisfaction than a toilet paper theft

I have stolen everything ,right and left
But no stealing has given me, however deft
Real job satisfaction like a toilet paper theft.

“(AP) - Fond du Lac County Executive Allen Buechel said someone has been repeatedly stealing toilet paper from the men’s public bathrooms at the Fond du Lac City County Government Center since June.”

She now knows his onions

A husband in IOWA has been booked for domestic violence
He hurled an onion at her and she now knows his onions.

A husband in Iowa, US, has pleaded guilty to domestic violence using an onion.

James Izzolena, 54 admitted to police - following his arrest - that he had thrown the onion at his wife, which had caught her a decent blow on the back of her head.”

Indian English is “kick-ass” English

Our government loves farmers and the crops they grow
But we want them to grow herbs in their backsides more .

A Rajasthan Government official has urged the farmers to grow more herbs in their backsides.

They are udderly delightful

We have our udderly delightful reality show ,
You will really want more and more
Our Jersey cows footage is ,behold and lo,
A sheer visual treat when loud they moo.

“The makers of Big Udder, which features a live feed from a dairy farm in the West Country, claim their show could offer a “more intelligent” line-up than Big Brother
The show, featuring 24-hour footage of 110 Jersey cows, will be presented by fictional hosts Davina McCow and Dermot O’Creamy, makers said. They hope www.bigudder.co.uk will attract thousands of reality fans each day. “
Breitbart

These thieves have lost their former glory

These thieves seem to have lost their former glory
Stealing many men’s underpants, not a single panty.

“Detectives are hunting thieves who had a brief encounter with a lorry driver before stealing 25,000 pairs of men’s underpants.
The robbers sprayed an “unknown substance” into the face of the Polish HGV driver, causing him to fall asleep, Warwickshire Police said.

In Tuzhla they go about their smooches with quality

In Tuzhla they do not miss their daily kisses
When they smooch they do so long and hard
When it comes to kisses,they are no near-misses.

“Organisers of an event in which almost 7,000 couples kissed simultaneously in a Bosnian town on Saturday said their effort deserved a place in the Guinness Book of World Records.

A total of 6,980 couples kissed for 10 seconds at the main square of the northeastern town of Tuzla, some 120 kilometres (74 miles) north of Sarajevo, said local radio station Kameleon which organized the event.

“Tuzla is the city of love. We are the champions,” Kristina Gligorovic, an organiser, told the crowd of some 20,000 people who gathered for the occasion.”

The honorable Senator goes gaga over men’s rooms

Our honorable Senator goes gaga
Over nice men’s rooms
The saga of his conduct in the airport loos,
In public memory,still looms.

“BOISE, Idaho (Reuters) - Republican Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho, caught in a sex scandal that quickly lost him the support of his party after his arrest in a men’s toilet, said on Saturday he would resign from the U.S. Senate.

Craig pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct last month after he was arrested in an undercover investigation of lewd behavior in an airport men’s room.”