Porno reading is permitted for rape convicts

In prison you cannot read porno ,and the law is very strict,
Unless you have at least one rape conviction to your credit.

“STOCKHOLM, Sweden –Convicted sex offenders in Sweden are free to read pornography in their cells following a court ruling that has angered the prison service.

The Supreme Administrative Court in Stockholm last week ruled that the Swedish Prison and Probation Service had no right to deny a rape convict access to his porn magazines.”

The cops are without pants

The Baltimore police are in a crisis with their stakes very high
Without a pair of pants how can they look the thieves in the eye ?

“BALTIMORE –Baltimore police are looking for a few good pairs of pants.
The police department has run out of two popular sizes of the custom-made navy blue uniform pants it provides to every officer, a department spokesman said Wednesday.”
http://www.boston.com/news/odd

Buy two kilos of cabbage and you get a pack of condoms free

If you buy two kilos of cabbages
You get a nice pack of condoms free
We are now stocking up on cabbages
For the ensuing monsoon with glee.

(NEW DELHI (Reuters) - India, struggling to promote greater condom use among its population, is looking to hire its own “condom man” to follow the example of a former Thai cabinet minister who successfully pushed for safer sex, the Times of India reported.

National AIDS Control Organization (NACO) chief Sujatha Rao said that India needed to find someone like Mechai Viravaidya, famous for getting Thais to talk about sex, condoms and AIDS.Viravaidya became famous in Thailand as the “Condom King” for actions such as taking condoms to World Bank talks as well as for the name of his Bangkok restaurant “Cabbages and Condoms,” where condoms are a major part of the decor.)

Women shake their fingers at their manhood

Giggling women shake their fingers at speeding drivers
The aspersions they cast on their manhood causes shivers.

“A new Australian ad campaign is seeking to reduce road deaths by questioning the manhood of speeding drivers.

The series of TV ads shows women shaking their little finger - a gesture used to symbolise a small penis - as speeding male motorists race past.”

Plunging necklines are not spiritually uplifting

They attend the mass every Sunday
Deep in their souls they ardently pray
Alas, plunging necklines have their sway
Over bodies making them an easy prey.

(“The Catholic Church has issued guidelines on what Filipinos should wear to mass in Manila after some parishioners complained about distracting skimpy attire.

“This is to remind people that it would be good to come in appropriate clothing because other people are scandalized,” said Peachy Yamsuan of the archdiocese of Manila on Monday.

“It is for the other worshippers who are distracted. You come to the church to pray and if your eyes wander and you see inappropriate clothes, well, it does not add to your spiritual goals.”)

The women are self-sufficient and men should focus on their core competencies

The American women should be admired for their self-sufficiency
They would prefer their men to leave them to their own proficiency
And focus on doing dishes and vacuum cleaning as core competency.

“There was a new study out that said a majority of women do not have an orgasm from intercourse but rather from foreplay, specially oral sex. A little over half of the women questioned said they only have an orgasm during intercourse about 35 percent of the time as opposed to having an orgasm about 70 percent of the time when their partner does oral sex to them.

Even more interesting, women also said that they not only achieve an orgasm more often than not when they are masturbating with a toy but the orgasm is usually more intense and they generally have multiple orgasms when they are alone.”

We are sure the police are adequately trained in changing diapers

They will jail a thumb-sucking toddler for firing on the police
We admire them for their sagacity and skills without malice
We hope they can change diapers every five minutes thrice.

(“Srinagar: Police in Kashmir usually accustomed to fighting separatist militants have a new target in their sights — teenagers canoodling in parks, restaurants and at Internet cafes.The crackdown aims to curb “immoral activities,” a senior police officer said on Friday, adding that dozens of places had been raided across Srinagar.”)

Their moral conscience is outraged

The cops here are decent guys with liberal views
But they cant bear the youth with morals loose
When it comes to really touching in public places
Even if transactions are avoided in private places.

(”Srinagar: Police in Kashmir usually accustomed to fighting separatist militants have a new target in their sights — teenagers canoodling in parks, restaurants and at Internet cafes.

The crackdown aims to curb “immoral activities,” a senior police officer said on Friday, adding that dozens of places had been raided across Srinagar.”)

We now call her Joan of Arc

In our party we love intensely our madam
And worship her as Durga at kadam kadam
We are sorry she does not like it ek dum
We now call her Joan of Arc ,that is a lark.
She will now bless us profusely,please mark.

NEW DELHI: It could have been a sycophantic partyman pulling off the old trick to curry favour with the leadership. But the man responsible for the projection of Sonia Gandhi as goddess Durga in a poster in Moradabad had no idea that the Congress president would hardly react with divine beneficience.

With TV cameras repeatedly zooming on the poster at the Moradabad district Congress office, Sonia called for immediate action. Moradabad district party unit chief Ajay S Soni was suspended.
(Kadam kadam means at every step. Ek dum means absolutely or suddenly)

Naughty ladies make innocent gentlemen blush

Innocent gentlemen politely admire female faces
Turning their gaze away from the interesting areas
Naughty ladies focus on men’s other areas directly
Making them blush severely in their under-pants.

(ATLANTA - Contrary to popular opinion, men are more likely to look at a female’s face before other areas when looking at pictures of naked women, according to a study by Emory University researchers. And women will gaze at pictures of heterosexual sex longer than men, the study found.

Both findings, published in the journal Hormones and Behavior, shed light on sexual attitudes that really aren’t all that mysterious when considered in a scientific light, Emory psychologist Kim Wallen said.”)