Now that she is dead she can go anywhere and run up bills and you can’t charge a ghost

I have today found out that I have already passed away
What a relief that all those piled up bills I need not pay.

(”SEMINOLE COUNTY, Fla. — A Seminole County woman was surprised as anyone when she found out she had passed away. Now, she’s been cut off from all her medical insurance and assistance.

Mabel Toevs got a letter earlier this month from her prescription drug company sending its condolences. She doesn’t know what happened, but until it’s worked out, her Medicaid account is cancelled.”)

http://muchmornews.com/?p=265

Marriage is not good for health;grazing goats is better

Marriage is not good for health;grazing goats is better
Arguing too much is injurious to health,now or later.

The 116 years old goatherd from Ukraine says :

“People that were
not married like me live longer. People who get married just argue all
the time, and that’s not good for your health.

“I believe that’s why I have lived so long, that and the fact I have never been curious.

“People who know too much always come to a nasty end. Better to stay stupid and not wonder too much about anything.””

Wait ,you have not seen her backside yet

Too much toilet paper is bad for ecology and for your interior
Save the tissue is the issue as you can see from her posterior.

(Wrapping up a nationwide global warming tour, singer-songwriter Sheryl Crow posted a quirky “solution” online about a new way to save the environment.

She wrote: “I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.”

She told the joke to get people’s attention, and it worked. Talk show hosts had a field day with Crow’s comments.

“Have you seen my [backside]?” Rosie O’Donnell joked on “The View.”:)

Bush had eaten a bad radish from Gonzalez’s farm

George Bush had eaten a bad radish from Gonzales’ farm
Attorneys come and go but radishes keep him reddish and out of harm

“President Bush was sitting warily in his chair, pursing his lips as if he had just eaten a bad radish, as a reporter asked about the performance of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales in recent congressional testimony concerning the firing of U.S. attorney”
Washington Post :David Ignatius

It is not the Li’s that wear most pants in China

In China it is not the Li’s and Tong’s that wear most pants
The Wangs are more in number, both in uncles and aunts.

(A new study has debunked the notion that Li is China’s most popular surname.

A 2006 survey of 296 million people in 1,100 counties and cities by
the Chinese Academy of Sciences found that Li led the ranks of family
names with about 7.4 per cent of the population.

http://www.cbc.ca/cp/Oddities/070424/K042404AU.html)

He may stare at the ceiling some time

A teacher in Chile has to stare at the wall all the time
It is only fair that he should stare at the ceiling some time.

(A mayor in Chile faces the sack after he made a teacher stare at a wall for a week.Maite Larrondo, the mayor of La Cruz, sacked teacher Patricio Gonzalesm from his school for criticising him.Instead, he gave him a desk job in his office, reports Las Ultimas Noticias.Mr Gonzales said: “When I asked what my job was going to be, they simply told me to stare at a wall.

“I then put my desk in front of the wall and have looked at it since then.”)

The goat is cuter than Freud

A goat’s statue with a comely goatee should rightly adorn our square
A psycho-analyst with a flowing beard is not all that handsome and rare.

(“A plan to have a monument to Sigmund Freud has been turned down by
locals in Prague who want to have a statue of a goat instead.The
monument will be erected in the area of the city known as Goat Square
where there have been no goats for hundreds of years.Freud was born in
the Czech Republic but lost out to the goats after locals started a
protest group called “The Friends of the Goat”.)

He has a musical voice and his dung smells good

I say this donkey has a fine musical bray ,my lord
And it is unjust to lay blame on the smell of his turd.

DALLAS (AP) — Faced with complaints that his donkey was too loud, attorney Gregory Shamoun decided to bring his case directly to the court: He had the donkey testify.

Buddy the donkey appeared in court Wednesday. He walked to the bench and stared at the jury, the picture of a gentle, well-mannered creature and not the loud, aggressive animal he had been accused of being.”
http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-04-19-court-donkey_N.htm?csp=34

The bosses went red in their faces

“We will not give the give the information,period “.The women said
Their bosses went into a huddle and in their faces went horribly red.”

India’s female civil servants are being told to provide details of their menstrual cycles in a new job appraisal form.

Women in India’s sprawling bureaucracy have been angered by the new form sent out this year which asks, among questions about their goals and skills, “when was your last menstrual period?” and “give details of your menstrual history”.”

He forgot to wear his pants

His Excellency forgot to wear his stretch pants
No problem,except for the itchy-bitchy ants.

Israel has recalled its ambassador to El Salvador, after he did his bit for diplomatic relations by being found by police drunk, nearly naked, bound, gagged and wearing a number of sex toys and bondage items.

Although Tzuriel Refael did not break any specific laws - he was in the yard of his residence when he was found – Israel announced that it was recalling him, and seeking a replacement.”