This was an emergency

She had just called 911 to get the cutie pie deputy
Cute cops are hard to come by ;this was an emergency.

“A woman who called 911 to get “the cutest cop I’ve seen” sent back to her home got a date all right — a court date. The same sheriff’s deputy arrested her on charges of misuse of the emergency dispatch system.”

Art for ants’ sake

For art’s sake we stand naked against the tree in cling-film
Big black ants are playing havoc with our sensitivities.

(Naked students in Colombia attach themselves to trees in cling-film in the name of art.)

My girl’s arousal begins in my wallet

Scientists say a woman’s arousal begins in her brain
Oddly enough my girl’s begins in the bulge of my pouch.

We want new members

In our nudist camp we are happy that we have no laundry bills
Only it is boring to look at the same old members listlessly hanging.

It is the size that matters

The judge commits the genitals case to the small cases court
Finally it is the size that decides the jurisdiction, you see.

(Student sues over yearbook photo showing his exposed genitals. Judge throws case out saying “It’s not that big a deal”, suggests student re-file in small claims court.)

He gained a wife and lost a buffalo

The man from Malaysia is not at all a lucky fellow
This season he gained a wife but lost a buffalo.
(An indigenous man in Malaysia’s Sabah state on Borneo Island was fined a buffalo and a pig for breaking a tribal custom by secretly marrying a second wife.)

French fries are Victoria’s secrets

The average American breast size has gone up from 34B to 36C.
Ah,a teat-routed nexus between Victoria’s Secrets and French fries makers.

Boobs are more important than husbands

“Hubbies are available, in this world,dime a dozen
Hard to come by are boobies of the proper sizen*”

(A woman was accused of poisoning her Marine husband and using money from his life insurance policy to get her breasts enlarged.)

The foot and mouth disease

The Chinese are these days putting their foot in the mouth
It seems they had picked up the disease in the White House.

(China reports new outbreak of foot and mouth disease.)

The Scottish kids are taught to be great scholars

The Scottish kids are taught to be great scholars

The Scottish school kids learn basics
Of how to blow their noses
Advanced topics like how to pick their noses
Will be taught in higher courses

(”Scottish primary school students to be taught how to blow their nose.”)